The emptiness

I’ve kept all of Zurik’s favourite places intact.

This is his favourite box-house, right in front of Bunny’s room. He’ll wait for me here if I’m inside the room.

His blanket on top of the piano.

I remember the numerous times I’ve had to balance myself, one leg on the piano stool and the other on the piano itself, to feed him his medicines so that I don’t have to take him down. Zurik had no problems jumping up onto the piano top.

And there’s another box-house here and of course, on the counter where he guards my taiji sword.

And he used to love curling up sleeping in this box-bed. It fitted him very well and he would look so comfortable in it.

I still find myself silently calling out for Zurik every time we come home from somewhere. “Zuzu” was my nickname for him.

Every time we took him to the vet’s, after he had gone into the carrier, I will tell him, “I promise I will bring you back, ok? Don’t worry.” And he would go confidently to the vet’s and back home, without making a single sound.

And every time we went out from the house, I’d say to him, “We will be back soon, Zuzu. We are just going out for awhile.” When we returned, I will look for him to let him know we were back, as promised.

I’m not ready to remove all his box-houses, his box-bed and everything in his favourite places yet.

I still miss him a lot.

His quiet presence has indeed left a huge gaping hole in our lives.

 

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