Cleo misses Pole

Although we brought all the cats out to say their goodbyes, Cleo clearly misses Pole.

At lunch time, Cleo didn’t want to join everyone at the patio. She went to the far end of the back garden and stayed there all alone. I had to take her bowl of food over there and coax her to eat. Thankfully, she ate.

Later in the afternoon, she stood at the grille, mewing and asking to come out. This has never ever happened before too.

For the last few weeks while Pole was ill, she spent a lot of time outside Bunny’s Room, but would still occasionally still go back inside to socialise with the rest.

So, Cleo asked to come out (which took a lot of courage on her part), went to sniff at the red basket which Pole rested in and also went into the kitchen and bathroom. It was obvious that Cleo was looking for Pole.

It’s very sad. I read from somewhere that animals do not understand the concept of death but they definitely grieve.

Cleo was unusually quiet throughout the day.

Pole did her duty for four months looking after her kittens and went back to being a happy-go-lucky cat after that, but Cleo had always maintained an attachment to Pole through the years. While Cleo was fierce enough to bully and lord over Cow, Bunny and Indy, she never ever bullied Pole. There was always this respect that Cleo had for Pole.

We will get through this together, Cleo.

Just like Cleo, I miss Pole very much too. I found myself looking at her red basket, as I had constantly done for the past weeks, ensuring that she is still okay. I found myself checking the clock to see if it was time to feed her. From five times a day, it became four and eventually only three, because Pole grew less and less interested in food. Even though Pole did not need all her medicines anymore, I had not discarded any of them during the past weeks. She was already not eating by herself, but I kept her bowl together with the rest. Everything was intact, but this afternoon, it was time to sort her things out and I did that.

A few days ago, I came across this article, entitled Death Isn’t the End from Zenhabits. It offers a non-religious view towards death being a continuation of an ongoing process. It says that when we die, we are not gone. We become the earth and encourage new things to grow. So, it’s an ongoing process without a start or an end. Our personality is also not gone. How we had lived our lives will hopefully inspire others and may even help shape culture and society.

Our furry friends may not expound complicated theories and philosophies, but if we look at how they live their lives, how honest and faithful they are, how they rejoice over the simple things in life, there is a lot we can learn from them.

Pole had a host of medical problems and eventually, kidney failure, and yet as I look back now, looking after her was not at all difficult even towards the end. We should live our lives this way, never giving problems to anyone. Pole’s needs were very few; she did not have attachments or expectations. Wise humans tell us that that is exactly how we should live.

As I write this now, Cow is mewing at the grille and Cleo is looking from the bed. I need to spend some time with them now.

We will grieve together and get through this, Cow Mau and Cleo.

We would also like to extend our heartfelt gratitude to everyone for your moral support and comforting words. Thank you so much for sharing Pole’s journey with us.

Always in my heart.