Rest, Bunny, rest

Bunny is no longer able to swallow.

I woke up at 3.30am this morning to change his paper towels and replenish his hot water bottles. He had urinated a lot through the night.

His breathing is rather laboured. Last night, I gave him 0.2ml of Gabapentin hoping that he can be sedated. Bunny is also on transdermal Tramadol for pain. This also has a sedative effect.

There is still reflex action when I touch Bunny’s paws.

It was too early to feed everyone else except Samantha. She is feral and will eat more when it is dark. So I went up and served her first. Then I cleaned all her litter boxes and swept the floor of her room. Samantha had torn up the sheer curtains in Riley’s room so I got out my sewing machine and mended them. There are things to do and it is good to keep the mind and body occupied.

After that, I fed everyone else, then did Bunny’s subcut. Then I prepared his food and tried to feed him, but he could not swallow well anymore. Seeing that, I did not want to put any pressure on him anymore, so I made some glucose water (one tablespoon of glucose in 100ml of water – thank you, Emma) and gave him 2ml of it, slowly, in very small amounts.

I don’t know how or why Bunny could suddenly eat yesterday. Maybe he knew I felt sad the day before when he slipped into a subconscious state and I couldn’t give him the chicken essence I had bought. That was the only thing I could not give him. I managed to give him the Bioresis, even the Slippery Elm Bark but not the chicken essence. I just felt a little sad, that was all, it was okay that he couldn’t eat anymore. I understand that his condition would only get from bad to worse. Just a little sad. Maybe perhaps Bunny knew and he wanted me to feel a little happier.

That’s how much our pets love us. They would do anything they can…for us.

Thank you, Bunny. We love you so much.

Whenever I fed Bunny since he became laterally recumbent, I always sing to him.

Skidamarink a dink a dink,
skidamarink a doo, I love you.
Skidamarink a dink a dink,
skidamarink a doo, I love you.
I love you in the morning,
and in the afternoon.
I love you in the evening,
and underneath the moon.
Oh, skidamarink a dink a dink,
skidamarink a doo, I love you.

Why this song? Maybe because I’ve been singing it to Jayden to calm him whenever he cries and it works. Or I would sing Edelweiss to Bunny. Why this song then? Because I’m learning to sing the harmony and it is challenging. In music, singing the harmony is much more challenging and difficult than the melody. Yet, the harmony supports the melody and together, they make the song beautifully blended. It is pretty much like life too – there’s the easy part, the melody, when life flows smoothly, carefree and easily. Then, there’s the harmony, when there are others in the background supporting us, helping us, making our lives more beautiful.

So today, it is going to be just changing Bunny’s hot water bottles and giving him glucose water every 2-3 hours, if he is able to swallow it. I’ve already done his subcut so there’s hydration in his body.

It’s last-stage palliative care. Sustaining and supporting the lifeforce no matter how faint it is.

Making Bunny as comfortable as possible. The hot water bottles are to keep him warm. There’s chanting playing in the room. I’ve kept Bunny as clean as possible and I’m careful not to rub too hard even with a soft towel because he bruises easily.

Meanwhile, just outside Bunny’s room, Riley is asking Tabs to play with her.

Riley doesn’t know what is going on inside Bunny’s Room, of course. She is still a kitten and she wants to play. Tabs entertains her for awhile and she is very happy.

But Tabs knows what is going on as she grew up with Bunny, from our old house to this one. Tabs knows Bunny and she has been going in to the room quite a bit. Just being there.

With no one to play with her, Riley plays with her toys. I can hear the jingling of the bells in the soft toys as she clutches them and bounces upstairs to her room to play and store in her stash.

Life goes on. There is laughter, happiness and there is also sadness. That’s life.

And upstairs, Samantha is about to give birth anytime soon.

The renewal of life.

The circle of life.

In the morning, in the afternoon, in the evening, and underneath the moon…life goes on and it is made a little easier when there is love.